Becoming a mother is an incredible and transformative journey, but it often comes with significant changes in various aspects of life, including relationships and friendships. Friendships can undergo a substantial evolution after the arrival of a baby. As a postpartum doula, I've witnessed many women grapple with these changes and find ways to navigate them successfully. In this blog post, I'll share insights and tips on how to maintain old friendships, meet new mom friends, and build a supportive community during this transformative time.

Two women talk while swinging at a playground.

Tips from a Postpartum Doula on Navigating Friendships as a New Mom

Maintain Old Friendships

It's common for the dynamics of old friendships to shift after having a baby, but these connections are still essential for your well-being. Here's how you can maintain and strengthen those relationships:

Communication is Key: Keep the lines of communication open with your pre-baby friends. Share your experiences and feelings about motherhood, and make an effort to stay updated on their lives as well. Even if you can't meet up as often as before, a simple text or phone call can go a long way in preserving your connection.

Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that your availability and priorities may change with the arrival of a baby. Be upfront with your friends about your limitations and let them know that you value their friendship, even if your interactions are less frequent.

Plan Mom-Friendly Outings: Organize outings that cater to both your baby's needs and your desire to spend time with friends. Choose baby-friendly cafes, parks, or walking trails where you can catch up while your little one enjoys the fresh air.

Meet New Mom Friends

While it's important to maintain old friendships, finding new mom friends who understand the unique challenges of motherhood can be incredibly rewarding. Here's how to expand your social circle:

Join Parenting Groups: Look for local parenting groups, both online and in your community. These groups often host playdates, workshops, and support sessions where you can connect with other moms. As a mom, Parents as Teachers was a lifeline for me, and I met some great friends in my neighborhood through their programs.

Attend Mom and Baby Classes: Consider enrolling in mom and baby classes, such as baby yoga, swimming, or music. These classes provide an excellent opportunity to bond with other moms while engaging your baby in fun activities.

Explore Social Media: Social media platforms and apps designed for moms are great places to connect with other parents in your area. These platforms allow you to exchange advice, share experiences, and organize meetups.

Build a Community

Building a supportive community of mom friends is essential for your well-being as a new mother. Here's how you can foster these connections:

Host Playdates: Invite other moms and their babies for playdates at your home or a local park. These gatherings provide a relaxed and informal setting for building friendships.

Create or Join a Support Group: Consider creating a small support group with a few mom friends who have babies of similar ages. Regular meetings can be a great way to share experiences, seek advice, and provide emotional support. In St. Louis, the MOMS Line is a great resource for both in-person and virtual support groups.

Attend Local Events: Keep an eye out for local events, such as community fairs, parenting workshops, or charity events. Participating in these activities can help you connect with other parents and contribute to your community.

Share Resources: Building a community isn't just about socializing. It's also about sharing resources and support. Offer to lend baby gear or provide assistance to fellow moms in your community, and you'll likely receive the same in return.

Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience, and it's only natural for your friendships to evolve during this time. While maintaining old friendships may require some adjustments and understanding, seeking new mom friends and building a supportive community can enhance your overall well-being as a mother.

Remember that friendships can be a source of strength, comfort, and joy during your motherhood journey. Keep the lines of communication open with your pre-baby friends, set realistic expectations, and find opportunities to spend quality time together. Simultaneously, actively seek out opportunities to meet new mom friends, particularly those in similar stages of parenthood, as these connections can be invaluable.

About the Doula

Kathleen Robbins offers postpartum doula services in-person in St. Louis, and virtually and via text to families in any location. She also offers customized baby prep sessions to help families with postpartum planning, feeding and newborn care education, and preparing your house for your baby to come home. For more information, contact Kathleen today!