When a new baby arrives, family members and friends are often extremely eager to meet the new arrival. While visits from loved ones can be fun and supportive, they are most helpful when approached with care and consideration. As a postpartum doula, I often remind visitors that the best support is practical, respectful, and centered on the family’s needs. Here are some tips for visiting new parents.

Bring Nourishment, Not Expectations

One of the most impactful ways to support new parents is by bringing a meal or snack. Home-cooked food, freezer-friendly meals, or even a delivery gift card can relieve a major daily burden. Be mindful of dietary preferences or restrictions, and also consider foods that are quick and easy to reheat and eat. Also, bring any food in disposable/recyclable containers so the parents don’t have to wash, store, and return dishes to you.

Beyond meals, one-handed snacks like muffins, cookies, and energy bites are always appreciated! Or you may consider bringing something like a breakfast casserole so parents have an easy, nourishing option to start their day. Many new parents will also light up if you bring them a favorite coffee or tea as a pick-me-up.

Lend a Hand with a Chore

Rather than offering, “Let me know if you need any help,” suggest something specific that you can offer. Folding laundry, sticking dirty dishes in the dishwasher, taking out the trash, or walking their dog around the block can make a meaningful difference. These small acts of service help parents rest, focus on their baby, and feel cared for during a demanding time.

Keep Visits Short and Flexible

New parents are often navigating unpredictable sleep schedules and recovery needs. Keeping visits brief, and being willing to reschedule or leave early, shows respect for their energy and time. Let parents set the tone, and understand that even a short visit can be more than enough.

Also, be aware that a mom who is learning the ropes of breastfeeding may prefer privacy. Conversely, a mom may be comfortable breastfeeding openly, so it’s important that you are comfortable with that as well.

Respect Health Boundaries

Newborns have developing immune systems, and many parents are understandably cautious about germs. Always wash your hands upon arrival, wear a mask if requested, and avoid kissing the baby. If you feel even slightly unwell or have been recently exposed to illness, it’s best to postpone your visit. Supporting a family sometimes means caring for them from a distance.

Follow the Parents’ Lead

Every family has different comfort levels, preferences, and boundaries, especially during the postpartum period. Whether it’s about holding the baby, taking photos, or offering advice, allow the parents to guide the interaction. Listening and honoring their wishes is one of the most supportive things you can do.
Visiting new parents is an opportunity to show care in meaningful, tangible ways. When visits are grounded in respect, practical help, and empathy, they can be a true gift rather than an added demand. Thoughtful support helps create a nurturing environment where parents can recover, connect, and grow into their new roles with confidence.

About the Postpartum Doula

Kathleen Robbins offers postpartum support to families in the St. Louis area, and virtually to parents in any location. As a doula, her role is never to replace the support of loved ones, but to act as a resource to strengthen those special interactions.