Becoming a new parent – and a new grandparent - today looks quite different than it did just a generation or two ago. Many of the practices parents followed in the 70s, 80s, or even 90s have been replaced by updated guidelines based on research and evolving cultural norms. As a postpartum doula, I often hear from grandparents who are surprised (and sometimes confused!) by how much has changed.

Here’s a look at some of the biggest shifts in newborn care and parenting over the past few decades:

1. Back to Sleep: Safe Sleep Has Changed

Then: Parents were commonly advised to place babies on their stomachs to sleep. It was believed this position reduced the risk of choking if the baby would spit up.

Now: The "Back to Sleep" campaign (now called “Safe to Sleep”), launched in the 1990s, changed the game. Research showed that placing babies on their backs to sleep significantly reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Today, pediatricians recommend a firm, flat sleep surface with no loose blankets, pillows, or stuffed animals.

2. Breastfeeding Is Back in the Spotlight

Then: In the mid-20th century, formula feeding became the norm, marketed as modern and even superior. Many parents felt pressure to use formula over breastfeeding.

Now: Breastfeeding has seen a strong resurgence, with support from the medical community and public health campaigns. While formula remains a valid choice for many families, breastfeeding is encouraged for its health benefits, bonding potential, and cost savings. There’s also much more support available—from lactation consultants to breast pumps covered by insurance. The most important thing for grandparents to remember is to respect the feeding choices of your grandbaby’s parents. Feeding a newborn can be challenging, and a new mom or dad should never have to justify their feeding choices.

3. Car Seat Safety Has Evolved (a Lot)

Then: In the 1970s, car seat use was inconsistent, and safety regulations were minimal. Some parents held their babies in their laps, and forward-facing seats were often introduced far too early.

Now: Car seat laws are strict, and safety standards are high. Babies and toddlers should ride rear-facing for as long as they meet the height and weight limits of their car seat, typically around age 2-3. Proper installation and fit are critical—and there are even certified car seat technicians to help!

4. More Products (and Opinions) Than Ever

Then: New parents had fewer choices. Most relied on a crib, a basic stroller, a few onesies, and cloth or disposable diapers. Parenting advice mostly came from family or books.

Now: The market is saturated with baby gear, from high-tech bassinets to wearable breast pumps and sleep-tracking apps. While some tools are incredibly helpful, they can also be overwhelming. Online parenting forums, blogs, and social media influencers offer a flood of opinions—sometimes helpful, sometimes anxiety-inducing.

6. Parental Leave

Then: Maternity leave was short (if available at all), and it was uncommon for fathers to take time off work following the birth of a child.

Now: While parental leave policies still vary, and there’s huge room for improvement in the United States, there’s a growing recognition of the importance of postpartum recovery and bonding time. Additionally, paternity leave for dads has become more commonplace and accepted, though, again, this varies widely by employer and industry.

7. Mental Health Awareness

Then: Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, such as postpartum depression, were not well understood and were rarely acknowledged. There was essentially no acknowledgment of mental health issues for dads.

Now: Awareness of perinatal mental health has grown and screening has improved. Now we know that about 1 in 5 moms experience a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder, making this a top birth-related complication. About 1 in 10 dads experience postpartum depression. Resources like therapy, support groups, and postpartum doulas (like me!) are increasingly available to support both parents.

8. Dads Are More Hands-On

Then: Many fathers were seen primarily as financial providers, with limited roles in hands-on newborn care.

Now: Dads are active and involved, from diaper changes to nighttime feedings, as equal partners in parenting. Paternity leave has become more common for the early weeks and dads are eager to learn how to support both their baby and their partner.

In Summary

It’s important to acknowledge that every generation of parents does the best they can with the information and resources available to them. While today’s standards may differ from those of our parents and grandparents, the goal remains the same: to raise healthy, loved, and thriving children.

If you're navigating these changes or feeling overwhelmed by the “new rules,” know that you’re not alone. When in doubt, I recommend asking how you can best support your family members in ways that respect their choices and norms. Be open-minded about practices that differ from what you remember. The love of a grandparent never goes out of style, and by honoring the expectations and requests in your grandbaby’s home, your help will be a huge asset.

Thanks for reading this blog! If you are a new grandparent, or grandparent-to-be, I invite you to also check out this related blog, Tips for New Grandparents: Supporting Your Growing Family.

About the Author, St. Louis Postpartum Doula Kathleen Robbins

As a postpartum doula, I love bridging the gap between generations—honoring family traditions while also sharing evidence-based guidance for today’s parents. To learn more about how postpartum support can help your family through this beautiful life transition, contact me today.